more than words

Over the course of five months, I've fully stepped out of my life, my groove, and my comfort zone. This total uprooting has been eye opening, scary, fun and exciting all at the same time. There were times were I thought my life couldn't get any better, and other times where I thought I would never see the sun shine again. Don't be confused, I'm not manic depressive, I'm just living life outside the United States were everything is different and confusing at times. This was my first extended stay away from home and my first time being separated from everyone I have known throughout the past 20 years.

What I've gained during these past few months is invaluable and will remain an unforgettable era of my life. As my host my has said many times, all the little things are just the anecdotes of life. Metaphorically speaking, she also tells me when I'm writing my book of life this is just one chapter. My gracious host mother here in Spain, otherwise know as Carmen, has taken me under her wing and has provided a great deal of sentimental support. What I've learned from Carmen, my professors, friends, and the people of Spain is that there is so much I don't know.

I had never thought to ask questions and wonder why, I have always been accustom to the way my life is I have never had to think outside the box. At my home university I study Journalism and I've never looked beyond the constraints of the newsroom. I've been writing articles, conducting interviews, editing, and more writing but I've never taken myself outside the mechanics of this. 

People communicate in many different ways, more than I had previously thought. Of the many ways we subconsciously decide to communicate, these methods change from person to person and from culture to culture. However, amongst the differences I have seen commonalities that have surprised me. When my mother came to Spain to visit during my spring break, my gracious host mother was so kind to let her stay in my homestay. With Carmen not knowing much English and vise versa for my mom, I was stuck in the middle translating. This took a lot of effort on my part, but I also heard Carmen say more than once that because they were both women they could understand each other. It was a look and motion of Carmen's hand between them that let them know no words were necessary they both knew, they both could understand. It was interesting to see that and be caught in the middle this type of interaction.

It was then that I realized that communication is more than words. Showing someone can be more powerful that telling. Two women from completely different backgrounds, who do not speak each other's language we able to communicate and bond with little to no words (of course things like food make this especially easy to bond over).

Regardless, there were no stereotypes or prejudgments passed, which is another thing I’ve tried to overcome. I don’t think I have, but I’ve certainly gained more perspective. I can safely say it’s universal to have stereotypes on the cultures that are not are own, but it’s always enlightening when a stereotype is broken. During my studies at USAC, I’ve not only met locals and people of Spain, but other Americans in my program as well who are from all over the country. Certain stereotypes I’ve had on the different regions of the States have even been broken during my time in Europe, who would have thought!

Another interesting interaction I’ve had was interviewing my Spanish professor Rosana about her intercultural experiences during her time in the United States. When we talked about the differences we saw, we gawked at each others impressions of our countries. For example, during her graduate TA training the trainees were warned against getting to close to students both physically and emotionally, where in Spain that’s not ever addressed as an issue. When I started teaching at the secondary school in Bilbao, no one at the school or during my training ever talked about appropriate distance between teachers and students.

Another thing Rosana pointed out were the blue light emergency poles situated on campus. It made her nervous they were absolutely everywhere, making her uneasy about the kind of attacks she needed to be aware of. For me, going to college and seeing these emergency poles made me feel safe in case of an accident. On my college campus for every one blue light you see at any given time, you should be able to spot two more, which tells you how prominent they are. Before talking to Rosana, I never realized that to someone outside the American culture it might be hard to explain it’s for your safety, not for you to worry.

Breaking these stereotypes is hard to do, and can often only be done with personal experience and exposure to a certain culture or group of people. I’m fortunate for my time in Spain and how these past months have opened my eyes to a new world of communicating with people. Although we can’t live without communication whether it’s verbal or nonverbal, it’s possible to leave generalizations and prejudgments at the door and let your interactions shape how you feel.